Tag: faith

Creativity & God

Creativity & God

By on January 15, 2020

Yahweh, my God, I take refuge in you. Save me from all those who pursue me, and deliver me, lest they tear apart my soul like a lion, ripping it in pieces, while there is none to deliver. Yahweh, my God, if I have done this, if there is iniquity in my hands, if I have rewarded evil to him who was at peace with me (yes, if I have delivered him who without cause was my adversary), let the enemy pursue my soul, and overtake it; yes, let him tread my life down to the earth, and lay my glory in the dust. Arise, Yahweh, in your anger. Lift up yourself against the rage of my adversaries. Awake for me. You have commanded judgment. Let the congregation of the peoples surround you. Rule over them on high. Yahweh administers judgment to the peoples. Judge me, Yahweh, according to my righteousness, and to my integrity that is in me. Oh let the wickedness of the wicked come to an end, but establish the righteous; their minds and hearts are searched by the righteous God. My shield is with God, who saves the upright in heart. God is a righteous judge, yes, a God who has indignation every day. If a man doesn’t relent, he will sharpen his sword; he has bent and strung his bow. He has also prepared for himself the instruments of death. He makes ready his flaming arrows. Behold, he travails with iniquity. Yes, he has conceived mischief, and brought forth falsehood. He has dug a hole, and has fallen into the pit which he made. The trouble he causes shall return to his own head. His violence shall come down on the crown of his own head. I will give thanks to Yahweh according to his righteousness, and will sing praise to the name of Yahweh Most High.

Yahweh, our LORD, how majestic is your name in all the earth, who has set your glory above the heavens! From the lips of babes and infants you have established strength, because of your adversaries, that you might silence the enemy and the avenger. When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have ordained; what is man, that you think of him? What is the son of man, that you care for him? For you have made him a little lower than God, and crowned him with glory and honor. You make him ruler over the works of your hands. You have put all things under his feet: All sheep and cattle, yes, and the animals of the field, The birds of the sky, the fish of the sea, and whatever passes through the paths of the seas. Yahweh, our LORD, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

Speaking the Gospel with Clarity

Speaking the Gospel with Clarity

By on January 10, 2020

Give ear to my words, Yahweh. Consider my meditation. Listen to the voice of my cry, my King and my God; for to you do I pray. Yahweh, in the morning you shall hear my voice. In the morning I will lay my requests before you, and will watch expectantly. For you are not a God who has pleasure in wickedness. Evil can’t live with you. The arrogant shall not stand in your sight. You hate all workers of iniquity. You will destroy those who speak lies. Yahweh abhors the bloodthirsty and deceitful man. But as for me, in the abundance of your loving kindness I will come into your house. I will bow toward your holy temple in reverence of you. Lead me, Yahweh, in your righteousness because of my enemies. Make your way straight before my face. For there is no faithfulness in their mouth. Their heart is destruction. Their throat is an open tomb. They flatter with their tongue. Hold them guilty, God. Let them fall by their own counsels; Thrust them out in the multitude of their transgressions, for they have rebelled against you. But let all those who take refuge in you rejoice, Let them always shout for joy, because you defend them. Let them also who love your name be joyful in you. For you will bless the righteous. Yahweh, you will surround him with favor as with a shield.

Yahweh, don’t rebuke me in your anger, neither discipline me in your wrath. Have mercy on me, Yahweh, for I am faint. Yahweh, heal me, for my bones are troubled. My soul is also in great anguish. But you, Yahweh—how long? Return, Yahweh. Deliver my soul, and save me for your loving kindness’ sake. For in death there is no memory of you. In Sheol, who shall give you thanks? I am weary with my groaning. Every night I flood my bed. I drench my couch with my tears. My eye wastes away because of grief. It grows old because of all my adversaries. Depart from me, all you workers of iniquity, for Yahweh has heard the voice of my weeping. Yahweh has heard my supplication. Yahweh accepts my prayer. May all my enemies be ashamed and dismayed. They shall turn back, they shall be disgraced suddenly.

Prophetic Conference

Prophetic Conference

By on January 7, 2020

Why do you stand far off, Yahweh? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble? In arrogance, the wicked hunt down the weak. They are caught in the schemes that they devise. For the wicked boasts of his heart’s cravings. He blesses the greedy, and condemns Yahweh. The wicked, in the pride of his face, has no room in his thoughts for God. His ways are prosperous at all times. He is haughty, and your laws are far from his sight. As for all his adversaries, he sneers at them. He says in his heart, «I shall not be shaken. For generations I shall have no trouble.» His mouth is full of cursing, deceit, and oppression. Under his tongue is mischief and iniquity. He lies in wait near the villages. From ambushes, he murders the innocent. His eyes are secretly set against the helpless. He lurks in secret as a lion in his ambush. He lies in wait to catch the helpless.

He catches the helpless, when he draws him in his net. The helpless are crushed. They collapse. They fall under his strength. He says in his heart, «God has forgotten. He hides his face. He will never see it.» Arise, Yahweh! God, lift up your hand! Don’t forget the helpless. Why does the wicked person condemn God, and say in his heart, «God won’t call me into account?» But you do see trouble and grief. You consider it to take it into your hand. You help the victim and the fatherless. Break the arm of the wicked. As for the evil man, seek out his wickedness until you find none. Yahweh is King forever and ever! The nations will perish out of his land. Yahweh, you have heard the desire of the humble. You will prepare their heart. You will cause your ear to hear, to judge the fatherless and the oppressed, that man who is of the earth may terrify no more.

The Test of Faith

The Test of Faith

By John Langan on January 1, 2020

Blessed is the man who doesn’t walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand in the way of sinners, nor sit in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in Yahweh’s law. On his law he meditates day and night. He will be like a tree planted by the streams of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also does not wither.

Whatever he does shall prosper. The wicked are not so, but are like the chaff which the wind drives away. Therefore the wicked shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous. For Yahweh knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked shall perish.

The Blood of the Martyrs Is Seed

The Blood of the Martyrs Is Seed

By on January 1, 2020

Yahweh, how my adversaries have increased! Many are those who rise up against me. Many there are who say of my soul, «There is no help for him in God.» But you, Yahweh, are a shield around me, my glory, and the one who lifts up my head. I cry to Yahweh with my voice, and he answers me out of his holy hill. I laid myself down and slept. I awakened; for Yahweh sustains me. I will not be afraid of tens of thousands of people who have set themselves against me on every side. Arise, Yahweh! Save me, my God! For you have struck all of my enemies on the cheek bone. You have broken the teeth of the wicked. Salvation belongs to Yahweh. Your blessing be on your people.

Answer me when I call, God of my righteousness. Give me relief from my distress. Have mercy on me, and hear my prayer. You sons of men, how long shall my glory be turned into dishonor? Will you love vanity, and seek after falsehood? But know that Yahweh has set apart for himself him who is godly: Yahweh will hear when I call to him. Stand in awe, and don’t sin. Search your own heart on your bed, and be still. Offer the sacrifices of righteousness. Put your trust in Yahweh. Many say, «Who will show us any good?» Yahweh, let the light of your face shine on us. You have put gladness in my heart, more than when their grain and their new wine are increased. In peace I will both lay myself down and sleep, for you, Yahweh alone, make me live in safety.

A Collective Prayer

A Collective Prayer

By John Langan on January 1, 2020

Why do the nations rage, and the peoples plot a vain thing? The kings of the earth take a stand, and the rulers take counsel together, against Yahweh, and against his Anointed, saying, «Let’s break their bonds apart, and cast their cords from us.» He who sits in the heavens will laugh. The LORD will have them in derision. Then he will speak to them in his anger, and terrify them in his wrath: «Yet I have set my King on my holy hill of Zion.» I will tell of the decree.

Yahweh said to me, «You are my son. Today I have become your father. Ask of me, and I will give the nations for your inheritance, the uttermost parts of the earth for your possession. You shall break them with a rod of iron. You shall dash them in pieces like a potter’s vessel.» Now therefore be wise, you kings. Be instructed, you judges of the earth. Serve Yahweh with fear, and rejoice with trembling. Give sincere homage to the Son, lest he be angry, and you perish in the way, for his wrath will soon be kindled. Blessed are all those who take refuge in him.

Disqualified!

Disqualified!

By Pastor Doug in History on May 31, 2017

Reflections on 2004 – 2006 and Beyond

I am from a broken home.  Divorce in the 60’s wasn’t as commonplace as it is today and as a kid and a teenager I walked around feeling inferior and disqualified … from honor, respect, hope.  I married a respectable woman who lived in a respectable family.  I wanted to absorb some of their respectability.  I became a Christian and experienced love and grace for the first time in my life.  Not too long afterwards, I sensed a call into the ministry and began the long road to realizing a dream.  With two kids Chris and I moved to Winfield, Kansas and went to Junior College – along the way having two children.  Then to Fort Wayne, Indiana for Senior College … graduating with a bachelor’s degree and a pre-ministerial degree.  Pretty respectable, don’t you think?  Then on to 4 more years of Seminary in St. Louis.  I was declared qualified to be a pastor.  So 6 years as an Associate Pastor in Waterloo, Ia and three more children.  6 years in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania as a Senior Pastor.  I earned my doctorate of ministry during those years.  Then moving to Spokane to assume the job of Senior Pastor some 20 years ago today!  I experienced the success of building churches and serving as pastor for twenty years.  Respectability abounds.  Successful pastor.  Successful family.  Anyone looking from the outside with say without question … qualified for honor, respect, hope.

But I dragged that disqualified teenager estranged from his father through my whole life.  Understanding the theory of grace but not owning it.  I fell!  It’s an interesting term we use for Pastors failing … they fell!  Fell from the pedestal?  We respectably call it “moral failure” in the church.  It was discovered by the elders in my church at Southside Christian Church … and my world fell apart – publicly.  Disqualified!  Lost my job.  Lost my dignity.  Lost respect.  Public humiliation.  Not to mention having to look my wife in the face and admit the utter failure I was.  Not to mention having to look my children in the face and confess that the image they had of their father wasn’t quite accurate.  He is way more flawed than they imagined.  Disqualified … to be a husband, to be a father, to be a grandfather, to be a pastor.  DISQUALIFIED!

The word on the street was that I would move … run and hide.  That’s what most pastors do when this happens.  But I was bothered by something.  In my brokenness … brokenness that I can’t even describe; in my shame … shame I can’t even describe; in my self-loathing … so deep there are no words to describe … I saw something different in the Word of God.

David in the Old Testament became my best friend.  The King of Israel … placed there by God and he committed adultery.  Then he went one step further and committed murder to cover up the sin.  And yet … in the end, the Bible says that David was a man after God’s own heart.  Somehow David’s sin didn’t disqualify him from a redeemed future.

The Prodigal Son became a focus for me.  A son who was so self –centered that he wanted the Father’s inheritance before the Father had even died.  He took the money and then squandered it on loose living.  He blew it in so many ways that surely he was disqualified from honor, respect and hope.

But as you read the story, the emphasis is not on the sinfulness of the son but on the generosity of the Father. The son found himself penniless and friendless.  He found himself at the bottom.  He longed for forgiveness.  He longed to be received back by the Father. The son had his speech carefully rehearsed. It was an elegant, polished statement of sorrow. But the old man didn’t let him finish. The son had barely arrived on the scene when suddenly, a fine new robe was thrown over his shoulders. He hears music, the fatted calf is being carried into the parlor, and he didn’t even have a chance to say to his father, “I’m sorry.”

The witness of the Word of God is that God wants us back even more than we could possibly want to be back. We don’t have to go into great detail about our sorrow All we have to do, the parable says, is appear on the scene, and before we get a chance to run away again, the Father grabs us and pulls us into the banquet so we can’t get away

Then again, there is a fascinating passage in chapter 8 of John’s Gospel about the woman caught in sin. Remember how the crowd dragged her before Jesus and asked, “What do we do about her? She was caught in adultery. Moses says we should stone her but the Romans won’t let us stone people. What do you think?”

Jesus ignores them and begins to write in the sand. Then he looks up and says, “Well, let the one here who hasn’t committed any sin throw the first rock.” One by one they drift away. Then Jesus says to the woman: “Is there no one here to condemn you?” She says, “No one, Lord.” He says “Okay, go, and don’t commit this sin anymore.”

Now, get the picture. Jesus didn’t ask her if she was sorry.  He didn’t demand a firm purpose of amendment. He didn’t seem too concerned that she might dash back into the arms of her lover. She just stood there and Jesus gave her absolution before she asked for it.

The nature of God’s love for us is outrageous. Why doesn’t this God of ours display some taste and discretion in dealing with us? Why doesn’t He show more restraint? To be blunt about it, couldn’t God arrange to have a little more dig­nity? Wow!

Now, if we were in His position, we’d know perfectly well how to behave. That prodigal son would have recited his speech down to the very last word. And when he got finished we would have said, “DISQUALIFIED!  You go away, prodigal son, and I’ll think about this a couple of weeks. Then you’ll be informed by parcel post whether I’ve decided to let you back on the farm or not.”

I don’t think anyone reading this would have approved of throwing rocks at the poor woman in adultery, but we would have made sure she presented a detailed act of contrition and was firm in her purpose of amendment. Because if we let her off without saying she was sorry, wouldn’t she be back into adultery before sunset?

But God doesn’t act that way.  He gives us what we need … not what we deserve.  He is a God of second chances.  He’s a God that, when we run to Him, he throws His arms around us and offers us forgiveness, hope and a future!  What the world says is Disqualified, he qualifies as worthy of honor, respect and hope.

My wife responded to my failure with Godly grace and forgiveness.  Each one of my kids responded to my failure with Godly grace and forgiveness.  They all didn’t disqualify me … even though I had disqualified myself.

Many Church folk didn’t however.  To many I am disqualified from ever ministering again.  Chris and I went to San Diego for intensive counseling to try and discover what drove me to act in a way that was so foreign to who I wanted to be and professed to be. While there, the counselors extended me a wonderful piece of Grace.  After hearing the details of my call into ministry, they responded by saying “what you have done doesn’t DISQUALIFY you from ministry in the future.

But many church folk had declared me DISQUALIFIED.  And I was confused because the church I read about in the Bible is a place where we do life together … and it isn’t all victories.  There are defeats.  The church is a place of forgiveness because their God is a God of forgiveness. The church is filled with people who say they believe that “all sin and fall short of the glory of God,” but somehow we have trouble accepting the fact that it’s really true.  And it leads people to hide.  Hide the fact that they yell ferociously at their kids day in and day out.  Hide the fact that they are struggling in their job and may lose it.  Hide the fact that they have temptations that sometime overwhelm them.  Hide the fact that, even though things appear to be great on the outside, there is a deep emptiness on the inside.  Hide the fact that they are less than honest and cordial at work.

And Dietrich Bonhoeffer sums it up best when he says this:

“He who is alone with his sins is utterly alone. It may be that Christians, not withstanding corporate worship, common prayer, and all their fellowship in service, may still be left to their loneliness. The final breakthrough to fellowship does not occur because, though they have fellowship with one another as believers and as devout people, they do not have fellowship as the undevout, as sinners. The pious fellowship permits no one to be a sinner. So everyone must conceal his sin from himself and from their fellowship. We dare not be sinners. Many Christians are unthinkably horrified when a real sinner is suddenly discovered among the righteous. So we remain alone with our sin, living in lies and hypocrisy. The fact is that we are sinners!

We all have shadows and skeletons in our backgrounds. I did.  But after months and months of quiet solitude and immersion in the word, I discovered there is something bigger in this world than we are and that something bigger is full of grace and mercy, patience and ingenuity. The moment the focus of your life shifts from your badness to his goodness and the question becomes not `What have I done?’ but `What can he do?’ release from remorse can happen; miracle of miracles, you can forgive yourself because you are forgiven, accept yourself because you are accepted, and begin to start building up the very places you once tore down. There is grace to help in every time of trouble. That grace is the secret to being able to forgive ourselves. Trust it.”

That revelation transformed my life and birthed a dream to embark on a grand experiment.  Could there be a church that exists where grace is more than a word, it’s a lifestyle?  Could a church really exist that receives the grace of God through Jesus Christ but also lives it?

Beyond Grace Fellowship became that experiment!